Nur Mahirah Mazlan

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Hi, Selamat Berpuasa.
Yay for Ramadhan. HEHEHE, I remember this, 'Ramadhan'.
Anyway, it has been a real long time since I last updated. Everytime I want to update, something stops me. Something will obstruct me from doing so. Today, I had Market Research Presentation and most of us wore formal. Omg, why all so handsome? haha. Basically, it was compulsory to wear formal but must have the attire to do presentation righttttttttttt ? Yeah, so our class did greattt :D
Had iReb test and it suck. Can prepare to tapao for this module. Tapao = Repeat/Stay Back.
Anywayyy, I had retail therapy alone. I spent 100+ bucks. My money from C&K finished just like that. Well, worth it to heal a broken-heart :D
Had my first iftar/ buka puasa with poly mates too and one of them drove. Scary shit when he let another person who doesnt know how to drive to handle the wheel while he reply message. I swear I was going insane at the back. -___________________-
Okayy.
Im so fascinated with skies nowadays.
Pictures below. Enjoy :D










See, I the most chubbiest among all. Depressed !
that's all. Toodles ~

Assalamualaikum ♥ back to top?

I dont feel like home is home anymore but I guess I still have to stick around.
I shall be positive even though it suck like hell.
:D
I remembered that day I was so pissed at my sister that I put 'such a bitch' at my msn pm.
I mean seriously, I wanted to use the small light in our room also cannot. She wanted me to off it cause she wanted to sleep. WTF, I think she lost part of her memory because the last time I checked, she wouldnt even care to use the small light when I wanted to sleep and I had school the next day. WALAOWEYYYYYYYYYYYYY. Tak ke prangai tu ? -___________________________-
So, Im starting my revision and it kinda suck cause when I wanted to do notes, I realised I had to do notes for the whole book too.
I cannot focus in lectures anymore without dozing off or fidgetting with my handphone.
sheesh ~
Then hmmmm, he is no longer entertain me. HAHAAAA !
okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy, I need retail therapy like immediately.
okayy bye

Assalamualaikum ♥ back to top?

Friday afternoon, I called home.
With good intentions, a treat for goodbye. Called, Just to find out she left already.
She didnt leave anything. I havent said my goodbyes. I havent give her money that I saved for her to spend. Its fucking sad. I wanted to go back early to spend time when I reached Pasir Ris and found out, I took the bus. Stopped a few kilometers away. Sat somewhere quiet with my shades on & ate ice cream. Just staring at the sun setting. I-Dont-Feel-Like-Coming-Back-Home.
Today, she sent food here. She's scared we were starving.
Its harder cause she cant let go and we cant let go and so how are we gonna move on?
Went to buy baju raya. Buy pun tak guna cause all no mood to raya.
Ironic, I bought this nice full suit but I have no mood to raya.
Im giving up in almost everything. Even that person.
Karma, for pushing people away.
You will never look at me like how you look at others.
:'(

Assalamualaikum ♥ back to top?

Hi, Imma post about someone today.
Someone really really special to me. So be prepared alright 'cause it's going to be a HELL of a post.
I shall give you the Rollercoaster feelings. *Up and then down*

" Dearest NENEK,
I'm so glad to have you in my life for17years already and I'm hoping if I can still have you in my life.
Right here, at home, with me. :)
I still remember all the stuffs that you did for me.
I love the fact that you protected me, shielding me with your own body,

when I was about to get beaten up by my dad 'cause I was so naughty & did bad stuffs.
I love the way you feed me with your own gentle hands when I kpo kpo also want to eat.
I love the way you walked so fast that I, myself, couldn't catch up.
I love the stories that you share with me about your past.
I love it when you share what's been happening in my family when I had no idea what's going on.
I love the closure that I have with you.
I love that we have a somewhat some bond between grandmother-granddaughter.
I love you. ♥

:D

But, please don't leave me. :'(
I don't want you to go away. I don't want you to move out and stay with my aunt.
I'm selfish & I want you here.

I know I haven't been the best granddaughter, I'm rude, I'm lazy, I'm ignorant.
I never thought you would leave this place.

Is my family that bad? 'Till you can't take it anymore?
Are we really hurting your feelings?

If I apologised, would you stay ? Would you give me a chance to prove to you that I can be a good granddaughter?
I thought you weren't going anywhere.
Can't you see in putting in effort to change ?
I decided to eat at home 'cause I know you cook. I still eat eventhough Im not hungry cause I don't want you to feel upset. There's a reason why I asked you to cook Lemak Chilli Padi 'cause I love the way you cook it. And I know, Im going to miss your cookings when you're gone.

So bear with me when I request you to cook a specific dish.

I'm really really depressed that you're moving out. I know you can't see it 'cause whenever Im upset about it, I run away. Like Ive said 'I am a runner. I run away from my problems'
Im like this since young. Thats why I jump from clique to clique.

It hurts, it hurts so bad.
Please don't leave me. My sister is rarely at home, Im not even close to my brother. My parents are working. Only sometimes we spend our weekends together as a whole family.
So nenek, please don't leave :'(
I'm going to selfish and ask you this question, "Nenek dah tak sayang lagi eh?"

But if we are really hurting you, Imma let you go, not because I don't care but because I really really care.
Since you're old and you've decided what you want then I leave it to you.

I just want you to be happy.
:')
But can you please re-think? What about me ? "

Assalamualaikum ♥

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